One thing I found useful when trying to decide between two best-fit
types is arranging the possibilities on a 2x2 grid, which shows
which types, within any group, are opposites.
For example, the Idealist types would fit onto a grid like this:
The diagonals are opposites: INFJ is opposite ENFP, and ENFJ is
opposite INFP. That is, all four types have the Idealist
temperament in common--which is a lot, and the very core of
personality. But among Idealists, INFPs have the least in common
with ENFJs, and INFJs have the least in common with ENFPs.
You can do that with the other three temperaments too: the fewer
letters they have in common, the more different the types are from
one another.
As an INFP "Healer," I find that my attitude in many
situations is
Let's just find the common ground where everything can be OK.
Wherever there's tension, I want the tension to end; wherever
there's pain, I want the pain to ease up; wherever there's
confusion, I want the confusion to give way to clarity; and so
forth. As to solving the problem or dealing with long-term issues,
we can tackle that later; first let's get to a place where we can be
pleasant and where each of us can be happy in her or his own way.
I'm not talking about compromise; I'm talking about individual
serenity and well-being. Each individual needs to get
"centered"
first; then all the "issues" will likely unravel themselves.
That attitude has something in common with the INFJ
"Counselor"--
except that the Counselor is likely to be less patient about it.
While, as a Healer, I'm inclined to just live and let live, giving
myself and others plenty of time to heal and grow, the Counselor
tends to be proactive and encourage personal development. That goes
slightly against my grain, because I don't feel that people can
usually be pushed--or even gently nudged--into growing or developing
or healing or whatever; I'm uncomfortable playing a directive role
in that. Yet, I do tend to agree with the Counselor's aim.
My Healer attitude also has something in common with the
ENFP "Champion": We're both attuned to centeredness and the
ideal
way things ought to be. The ultimate aims and deep meaning of life
that seems to elude most people--that stuff is as clear as day to
us. But the Champion tends to apply that to the world around him,
participating in social movements or finding other ways to get
involved with lots of people. As a Healer, I tend to always take
just one person at a time, starting with myself; I'm reluctant to do
anything that involves a whole group. The Champion, OTOH, is often
ready to change the world.
The "Teacher" is the Idealist type I have the least in common
with.
Being both directing and initiating, the Teacher wants to
proactively foster development and wants to do it with a whole
classroom full of people at a time--or more. As a Healer, I'm
informing, not directing; and I'm responding, not initiating. So,
I'm usually inclined to take the gentlest, least invasive, and most
individual approach to any situation. That doesn't mean I'm a
perpetual wimp (though sometimes I am); when backed into a corner,
I'll fight like mad to defend my core beliefs. But the rest of the
time, as long as there's room to maneuver, I want the best possible
outcome for each individual; I don't like to see individuals having
to compromise (thus to some extent being untrue to themselves) or
rush their personal development (thus to some degree being untrue to
their own natural rhythm).
So, FWIW, that's part of how Keirsey's "Healer" theme works
for me.
I'd be interested in hearing how others find their type-themes
operating in every aspect of their lives.
--Patrick (informing, responding NF/Idealist)
