Merging versus Matching (the Archetype)
I got to hear John Beebe speak recently on the topic of introversion and extraversion. And I thought he had some thoughts that were very worth sharing.
First off, he says that we need to re-think introversion and extraversion. The common distinctions between "shy" and "gregarious" don't cut it. Nor is this dimension about whether we derive our energies from within or without. He says that's a behavioral idea that crept in, particularly into MBTI type descriptions, but it's inaccurate. It makes you think that extraversion is the way you relate to the outer world, and introversion is the way you relate to the inner world. And he says that sounds phenomenological, but it really isn't -- that's a mistaken idea.
The terms introverted and extraverted are adjectives -- meaning they are circumstance-dependent. So you are not just one or the other -- you are one or the other depending on the circumstances (which can obviously change). Moreover, Beebe claims there is an extraverted way to relate to the inner world, and an introverted way to relate to the outer world.
For instance, an introverted Feeling type might go to a party and sit in a corner of the room, or stand graciously, and may hardly move and not say two words to anyone. But in a very quiet, gracious way, simply by being there they will elevate the tone of the gathering and keep it from getting too raunchy, and the furniture being broken and so forth, preventing an occasion for great shame later. That introverted Feeling person will go inside and feel the party from inside. And it will feel if some kind of archetypal norm is being satisfied. If it is, that person will relax. If not, there will be a subtle tension that will emanate from the person that will have a subtly compelling effect. It says to people (without their knowing how it's being said to them), "You better accord with the archetype, because you are in violation of the archetype of what's supposed to happen right now." And this hidden gentlemanliness, or ladylikeness, has a magically emanating effect, which others can feel. And this introverted Feeling person is emphatically taking care of the outer world situation, albeit in an introverted way. It isn't relating to the inner world at the expense of the outer world, but rather, getting down to the unconscious level of the outer situation with the use of the Feeling function, and with a sense of the archetypal issue involved.
In contrast, the extraverted Feeling type is rather like a water witch, finding where the affect is, all around, in an outer-world way and going for that, moving to where people are at in the immediate pre-conscious -- where the water's just about to blow, and to keep sensitive about that. That extraverted Feeling person will be quite active at a social gathering, taking care of the many feelings present in the room.
Affects that are being held by others, versus that deep registry that is one's sense of what's happening at the archetypal level, depends on whether we're talking about extraverted or introverted Feeling.
Two people can both be using Feeling, and working very hard at using it, but they seem so different that it's almost hard to believe they're both Feeling types. And each wonders how the other can enjoy doing what they're doing.
Now Dr. Beebe's preferences are for ENTP, and he says that some friends in a psychiatric residence while he was in training were convinced he was the only introvert they knew personally. Beebe says it was because they experienced "the introversion of my thinking" (Ti).
Not surprisingly, other people considered John to be extraverted. He said, "they experienced me merging with their experience in an almost uncanny way." He said it was "the extraversion of my iNtuitive function which ... goes outside to merge."
And Dr. Beebe draws this distinction between merging and private matching (to the archetype). And I find this distinction riveting. When we merge with others or with the outer world (the object), we are extraverting a process. When we go inside and privately try to match an experience to an archetype (the subject), we are introverting a process. And naturally we all do both, but under different circumstances.
I connected with that notion quite readily, because I know how easily and readily I merge with others around my extraverted Feeling. In fact, I can completely lose my identity if I get too carried away with this process! I have to almost forcibly extricate myself from it in order to go within and connect privately with archetypes again (matching). That's when my introverted iNtuiting takes charge.
By the same token, I go within and try (and often fail!) to connect with the archetype when I use introverted Thinking... and I naturally merge with the external world when I strive to use my extraverted Sensing (yay for shopping!!).
Now, Beebe describes an extraverted iNtuition as "something to go out after." He says he could never sit there and let things come to him. He would merge with others' experience "in an almost uncanny way." He uses his iNtuition to "hunt bear." (Now that's a domNe's perspective, and auxNe would be a little less "heroic," but still, it gives you a sense of the differences.)
In the INFP pattern, it seems obvious that introverted Feeling, then, would go inside to do archetype-matching, while extraverted iNtuiting would merge with the Collective (others). And introverted Sensing would do archetype-matching, while extraverted Thinking would be engaging the Collective.
In the INFJ pattern, introverted iNtuiting would go inside to do archetypal work, while extraverted Feeling would merge with the Collective (others). And introverted Thinking would do archetype-matching, while extraverted Sensing would be engaging the Collective.
So there's something new for you to ponder. When you are archetype-matching, which process are you utilizing? When you are merging with others, which process are you utilizing?
What are you up to when you go inside, and when you go outside?
I got sooo excited about this topic that I created a short Youtube video on it called "The Introversion-Extraversion Primer" -- you can find it here. (If you sign up for the mailing list, you can view the longer version of it.)
