I don't like to sort by negative attributes, because I don't think it's a good idea to use putdowns as a source for sorting out type. But I'll freely confess to this one. I think INFJs are the pushy ones.
INFPs tend to take the stance of "live and let live." Unless it's something that directly violates their values, they are pretty much content to let others alone. They will not often complain about others' "weird" behaviors, and their tendency is to condone people's rights to freely express themselves, as long as it does not trample a value the INFP holds dear.
It's the INFJs who think people should "shape up." INFJs generally believe anti-social behavior should not be tolerated.
We are also the ones who are willing to push, prod, nag, and bully you into your greatness.
I had a boyfriend once who complained about his weight. He was getting older, and had fallen into the habit of sitting around watching TV with his (now ex-) wife eating ice cream. He really wanted to get in shape, but didn't see how to get started. And he wasn't a physical kinda guy. He wouldn't toss a football at the beach, or play any kind of sport. He wanted a svelte body, but he had no interest in doing any of the things that would get him there.
I heard him complain a number of times, and I realized a lot of energy was being created around this value.
So I put my iNtuition to work on it.
As was pointed out to me at a recent psychological types conference, extraverted iNtuition tends to diverge in its perception, while introverted iNtuition tends to converge. So Ne generates a lot of possibilities, while Ni tends to generate one "right" answer.
My iNtuition came up with the singular idea of getting the boyfriend to a health club on a regular basis.
However, I knew that alone wasn't enough. I knew if he tried to visit the health club first thing in the morning or last thing in the evening, or squeeze it into his weekends, it would fail as sure as I'm sittin' here.
It had to be part of his regular work schedule. Every other weekday, go work out over lunch hour.
So I clocked a round trip from work to the nearest club and back. I allowed a decent amount of time for changing, showering, and changing again... and then estimated a decent workout length for the timetable. Everything could be accomplished within about an hour's time. Grab a sandwich on the way back, eat over the computer, and presto! the antidote to being fat.
He hated the idea when I shared it with him. Wouldn't even consider it. Nixed the whole thing right out of the gate.
That's okay. It was his choice. I shrugged it off and let it go.
Bided my time.
It didn't take long!
A couple of weeks later, he starts griping about his weight again. Complaining about the inner tube wrapped around his belly.
And I let him have it with both barrels. "Visit the club," I say. "It's the only answer." And I tell him they offer FREE two-week trial memberships and I'll do those two weeks WITH him.
"Try it out or stop complaining. Those are your choices."
This time he goes for it.
I confess it didn't all work out the way I envisioned. I thought he should swim laps -- and it turns out he felt anxious in the water. But he tried a stationary bike, and he got all into the computer controls and metrics that measured his progress.
At the completion of his two week trial period, he purchased a full club membership.
That was around 15 years ago.
We broke up a few years afterwards, but we're still good friends. And you know what? He still works out regularly, every other weekday over lunchtime.
He's fit and happy with his figure now. He's even positive enough about exercise that he's tried playing tennis, and has even taken up snowskiing. Wow!
Was I pushy? You bet!
INFPs are more inclined to let a person decide for themselves what action they'll take to solve a problem (if any), and then offer unconditional support while they work at solving it.
INFJs will hand you the solution on a silver platter, dole out advice for how to get it done, and then push and prod and bully and nag until you cooperate and move to the next level in your evolution.
INFJs don't know what "live and let live" looks like.
So are you a "pusher" -- or are you a "live and let live" kinda person....?
