Example of INFP Informing
An INFP posted once that he expects people to work things out for themselves. If someone asks a question (perhaps as many as three times), he just doesn't answer, and simply expects the person to realize he doesn't want to answer.
What do I think?
Ignoring someone's question THREE TIMES?! I would be wondering why he is so rude. So I notice there's an extreme communication difference here.
I've also met INFPs who say they can't "think" of an answer, and it sounds so lame to me because I can tell I am being blown off. So then I imagine they are lying or being "passive-aggressive."
In fact, I'm becoming aware of how often I want to label certain behaviors as "passive-aggressive." I'm noticing that's a euphemism for MY frustration for how they are not using my directing communication style. Thus, YOU may want to notice whether or not you frequently encounter "passive-aggression," or whether you rarely experience it -- in which case perhaps you naturally "excuse" that behavior because you do it yourself. You recognize it, so it doesn't rile you...?
I notice when I present this topic at conferences how people with the directing style have a total blind spot here and are utterly oblivious to informing communication. They tend to think I'm talking about "rude" versus being "polite." They don't get that Informing is a warranted form of communication. Responses like the example I shared above aren't considered legitimate. The communication is totally lost on them. Instead, Directing types write these interactions off to "passive-aggression" and assume something is "wrong" with that person's communication.
It's people with the informing style (like INFPs) who catch on immediately to what I'm describing. They've lived with it their whole life. One of my clients calls his communication the "Ninja style," because it was as if he was walking around invisible.
So how do YOU respond to what this INFP wrote above? What is your kneejerk response to his behavior?
