Something I'm getting more and more in touch with about the Tertiary function is how striking its operation is. According to Dr. Beebe, the tertiary function tends to be either inflated or deflated -- it's either too big for its britches, or it's whimpering in the corner as a hopeless dejected fool.
Yes!
I liken the use of the tertiary function to a kid poppin' wheelies on his bicycle. Sure it looks impressive, and he's quite the hotshot, but one of these days he's gonna overdo it and land on his butt. In this use, the tertiary is bigger than it should be, and it's begging to get taken down a notch. (Which invariably happens.)
John Beebe says that "there is a bi-phasic aspect to the puer." He says the puer archetype might be better called the "endless" boy or girl, because it never grows up. Beebe says it runs on "a roller coaster from pinnacle to pit."
I noticed it in my ISFP friend. He was getting grandiose about his expectations with his business, and I remember this warning bell going off in my head that he'd better watch himself, because he was getting too big for his britches. He would joke about "world domination," and I would inwardly cringe. He was using his introverted iNtuition in the tertiary, and my dominant preference of Ni was wary of his boastful air around this function. He was inflated in his use of it, and I instinctively felt that was an inappropriate use of my favorite function.
Likewise, I tend to be inflated with my use of Ti. I am a "know-it-all" in this regard. I'm a collector of all kinds of little "rules" and "frameworks" about things. For instance, "the shorter the skirt the higher the heel." Did you know that one? How about "the three rules for buying real estate"? (Location, location location!) I am clear about the "rules" for writing a good screenplay (I even used to type scripts professionally, because I could be counted on to know the rules for formatting them properly), and I know the criteria for describing one's seasonal color palette. (It starts with whether the undertone in your skin is bluish or yellowish.)
I can be very witchy when somebody "breaks" a rule. For instance, being told that *everyone* looks good in black might give me a conniption fit -- or hearing there is a shade of black for each of the seasons. "HA!" I say. I can be quite inflexible in my application of these "rules" -- even "rules" about using type! (I sometimes think I can see Linda Berens wincing at my overt use of Ti in this regard.) I do know that I get boundless energy using Ti, and I love learning new frameworks and rules. (I'm a sucker for the kinds of classes called, "8 Rules for Sustaining Relationships" and things like that.)
Where I go flat is in my words. Sometimes I can be extremely erudite -- but other times I just fall flat. I especially hate it when this happens to me if I am on the phone coaching a client through a sensitive issue. I'm thinking something really deep, but I just cannot find the words to articulate my meaning! I always believe things can be "talked out," and some of my biggest failures seem to be when the talking stopped (dashing me into the "pit").
I notice the inflated Si in the Tertiary at work sometimes in INFPs. An INFP friend of mine is always going on about some historical figure he's reading about. Another one is into Abraham Lincoln, even touring friends around the battlefields of Gettysburg to talk about the Civil War. He was a font of incredible information when we visited the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, D.C. together. He was telling me all sorts of things about Lincoln that I never knew.
Sometimes INFPs send me private emails about this site, and the first thing they launch into is a description of their childhood or something in their past to explain how they are today. Sometimes they can't let go of a grudge against somebody, often a parent, and they'll re-hash these issues over and over again. They seem obsessed about making their childhood better, even though it's past. I have INFP clients who seem like they want to crawl right back into their mother's womb and start over!
I notice the struggle with Si around some INFPs around their weight or their health -- a lot of them pop pills to bring their bodies under conscious control. Some talk about "chemical imbalances," as if they are engaged in ongoing battle for the upper hand over their body. They sometimes demonstrate the notion of "psychosomatic illness" quite obviously, such as a sore throat manifesting when they need to speak up about something risky. And yet, one INFP I know has mastered an exercise routine that he performs on a regular basis to keep his body in shape.
INFPs seem to be surprisingly in touch with certain conventions. An INFP friend of mine is very good about doing the dishes and putting things away (in contrast to his DomNi wife). He is about "putting things in order; setting things to rights" -- which fits with John Beebe saying that Si is the function that grasps the "natural order of things." This friend cleans up after the cat, fixes the broken screw, handles the cooking and the dirty dishes, and basically demonstrates all the ideal qualities you expect to find in a "wife" (even while he's a man!). He seems to display an affinity for these "routine" tasks (while routines are something I eschew altogether -- even good routines!).
Another "inflation" I see is when INFPs overly embrace tradition and resist changes, which seems almost like a contradiction to their type. ("But we always do it this way!" "This is how it should be!") And I'm not talking about "tradition" per se -- but things like, "This is the restaurant we always eat at," or "I like to go camping in the same spot each year." Maybe these are traditions with a little "t" instead of a capital "t." Instead of vacationing somewhere new, they'd rather visit an old haunt and notice what's changed since they were there last. I also spotted it in my INFP friend, who was in the same miserable job he hated for eight years. (I was thrilled when they fired him, and he's performing theatre and celebrating his life now.)
Roger Pearman identifies Si as "mental rehearsal." I had an "aha!" around that since one friend used to drive around in the car moving his lips. I'd ask who he was talking to, and he said he was rehearsing conversations he was soon to have. So if that's not Roger's "rehearses and reviews information for clarity," then I don't know what is.
I'm still exploring my own tertiary process, and am becoming surprised at just how much I am attracted to and employ Ti. It's going to take me a little while to get better up to speed on the use of Si in the INFP pattern... but I wanted to give you something to chew on to start with.
Please let me know your thoughts!
